RAV SHMUEL

Question Your Leaders AND Their Ideas

2011-03-18T13:26:00.001-04:00

I worry about the masses who question the the idea that they live under tyranny yet fail to question the ideas of the tyrants. Once and for all people; Zionism and Nazism are NOT morally equivalent. The Swastika and the Star of David do NOT belong side by side. This is not my opinion. This is a fact.

Please, people of Libya and Egypt and Bahrain and Yemen and Saudi Arabia, throw off the chains of your servitude and exert your rights to be free to recognize how your leaders have used Israel as the foil to the dictatorial exploitation of their own citizens. Please, as you exert your rights and gain the freedom you deserve, throw out the baby with the bathwater!

crossposted at Jewlicious

Happy Rosh Hashanah!!!

2008-09-26T18:09:00.000-04:00

Response to Between Hebron and Jerusalem

2008-03-18T15:09:00.003-04:00

The following is my response to a particularly upsetting guest post on jewschool.com ( here ) where Elliot Horowitz, author of Reckless Rites: Purim and the Legacy of Jewish Violence, questions the remarks of the Rosh haYeshiva of Merkaz haRav, Rabbi Yaakov Shapira.

- - - - - - =- - - - - -= - - - - - -

I did not hear the eulogy delivered by Rabbi Yaakov Shapira - nor was a source referenced in this post. Even so, I believe that Elliot Horowitz is mistaken on both points.

First, with regard to the Amalek status of such people, Rabbi Shapira knows of what he speaks Elliot. You would do well to study up on the Rambam's views regarding Amalek and how although the term stems from the grandson of Esav when it is used to describe a Halachic status it takes on an entirely different meaning. The Rambam may hold that the term Amalek and the imperative it implies is applicable to a descendant who is carrying on the ways of Amalek OR a non-descendant who has adopted Amaleki policies. Though the Rambam’s position itself is debatable Rabbi Shapira is safely within the bounds of normative Jewish thought when he applies the term Amalek to murderers of innocent Jewish children.

Second, Rabbi Shapira was surely not suggesting that this young 25 year old terrorist saw himself as a continuation of the 1929 Chevron Massacre. What he WAS suggesting is that this act was a continuation of the culture of hatred and cowardice behind the Chevron Massacre, which took the lives of 67 innocent and defenseless Jews - men, women and children, including 23 yeshiva students.

An eyewitness account by a British policeman told of seeing an arab cutting off a child's head with an axe. Do you hear me Elliot!? CUTTING OFF A CHILD’S HEAD WITH AN AXE!!

My hands shake and my heart bleeds at the loss of perspective that could allow someone to compare Baruch Goldstein's crime to the Chevron Massacre.

Baruch Goldstein murdered 29 innocent victims and the vast majority of us were HORRIFIED. Yes, some will tell you all sorts of fantastic theories about why he did it etc... but that only proves the point. They can't believe he would have done such a thing without some reason - some secret knowledge about an immanent attack - something - anything - but not that he just did this because he hated Arabs. Because that's not how we act in our culture. (( and I know you’ve written a book that is supposed to redefine how Jews REALLY dealt with violence but I am not speaking from a birds-eye view of history here - I am just speaking from the culture as it exists today. In the vast majority of Jewish households the world over violence is abhorred)) The perpetrator of this act was a lone individual - not supported or celebrated - or copied - and we hope and pray he never will be.

The Massacre in Chevron and the whole culture of suicide bombing (really homicide bombing if you think about it...) is the product of a culture that celebrates violent homicidal acts of cowardice against innocent children. A culture that runs out into the streets to celebrate upon hearing of the murder of innocent children and by so doing allowing a straight line to be drawn from the Chevron Massacre to the murders in Merkaz HaRav.

That is what Rabbi Shapira was referring to and in this respect he was RIGHT.

Response to "blackblog"'s comment on YouTube

2007-05-27T01:00:00.000-04:00

Somebody named "blackblog" left the following comment on YouTube to my music video "Protocols". YouTube has a limitation on how many words you can leave as a comment so I've chosen to respond here.

Firstly, to follow this you probably need to be familiar with the video - the link is above.

Now here's his comment:

blackblog:
Hmmm - Some people think that you are damned. I don't think the portrayal of Catholics in this video is any less inflamatory than what Gibson said in a drunken stupor. If this is a joke, it isn't funny and certainly won't create any positive feeling from non-jews, but I don't get the impression that the creator of this video cares about that.

Here's my response:

You’re right, it’s NOT funny at all. As a Jew, it is not I who has to explain centuries of well documented Christian persecution of us because of our refusal to accept Jesus. And if my line is inflammatory because it's difficult to deal with this history - please accept my "sincerest" apologies - I wouldn't want anyone out there to actually have to look in a mirror and take stock of reality. I don’t hate Christians, nor do I hold them personally responsible for the past actions of their religion. Nowhere in my song is this suggested. I am also well aware that there are many different beliefs and paths within Christianity, some of which would not ascribe to the idea that I automatically go to hell for not believing in Jesus. But my song is not specifically about Christians – it’s about anyone who thinks that their way is the ONLY way and that everyone else is doomed. To compare my satirical line to Mel Gibson's tirade is a disingenuous and feeble attempt to avoid taking responsibility for history and cast the blame for Anti-Semitism on the victim.

Rav

An Old Poem That I Once Had On My Website And Now Do Again

2007-03-08T12:08:00.000-05:00

So here we are
at the dawn of a new day
pregnant with the midnight dew
that has attached herself
to the ground
like a thousand shiny diamonds
glistening in the sun
only to be awakened
and dissolved
by the heat of the day
or by the boots
of the men and women
on their way to work
in the fields
or in the factories
where they toil
to implant in the soil
of their souls
a modicum of living spirit
to take them
far beyond
their living mortal souls' space
on this planet
and into a new world
a world
where all creatures get along
and together
build a better future
for the generations
to come
who will enter their world
not with a cry of despair
but with a shout
of joyous delight
at the perfection
that surrounds them.

Yeah, right.

Lunch Today

2006-12-11T12:08:00.000-05:00

Had lunch today with Jon Voight.

Dinner Last Night

2006-12-11T12:07:00.000-05:00

Last night my wife and I went out to dinner at a local restaurant. We got the bill and I paid with my credit card. When they brought the receipt back for me to sign I noticed that there was a place to write in additional moneys for the "tip". No problem, I thought to myself - the waiter was efficient (except for the plastic cups that leaked) and he deserves to make a living too. In general I like to leave more than expected because it doesn't cost me a lot of money but it sure makes a difference to those who are on the receiving end.

And then I noticed that a "gratuity" had already been charged! What to do - what to do? Maybe this particular restaurant has "gratuities" for the waiter and "tips" for the busboys? (For a minute I considered writing in "lucky lady in the 5th at Aqueduct")

So I called over the man who appeared to be the manager of the place and asked him about it. He said "the gratuity is for the waiter which is automatically added to the bill while the tip is what you give the waiter if you feel you got good service - after all the gratuity is only %15".

Maybe I should explain. I'm not upset about giving the waiter more than %15 - I do that quite often. What I am upset about is the doublespeak. A gratuity IS a tip - just call it one and the same thing - and if you can't trust us to give the standard %15 then why not go all the way and charge us a %20 gratuity? And %15 is not "just" %15. It's a serious piece of business and I believe it is an appropriate number to use as a basis for deciding a tip - I mean gratuity ;-)

Actually I'm not "upset" about this at all - just amused - but then I don't eat out often or at too many places (have to be Kosher of course) - so maybe you out there can tell me if this is standard practice elsewhere and maybe it's just my sheltered little life that's causing me to be commenting on this at all.

Fake Plastic Trees

2006-12-06T12:06:00.000-05:00

I am driving to work today and passing a whole bunch of Fake Plastic Snowmen standing around in the cold. Poor things. Silent testimony to a world gone mad. Mad for attaching to something meaningful - like back when we were young playing in the snow with family and friends. But we don't do that anymore - too busy. Not to mention the whole global warming thing which threatens the whole concept of snow.

I think back to the time when, living in Mattersdorf (Ultra-Orthodox community in Jerusalem Israel), it blizzarded for a day and I went outside with my kids and we built a 7 foot Ultra-Orthodox snowman. All the other kids in the neighborhood stood around and watched and thought I was crazy because I was the only dad outside. The snow melted in less than 24 hours but the snowman stood in the yard with his black hat and carrot nose and long licorice payos (sidecurls) for a few weeks - silently laughing at all who passed by and wished that they had a snowman too.

People - listen up! I don't generally preach but it's important that you hear this: A Plastic Snowman is an abomination in the eyes of the Lord! Go out and build one when the snow comes - or don't but please don't buy in to the vacuous notion that a plastic replica is anything but a sad testimony to a big empty hole in your heart.

I could go on but I've got to go water the fake plastic tree in my office.

New York Times Ruins My Day

2006-12-05T12:04:00.000-05:00

Sometimes the brilliance of The New York Times reporting is staggering. In an article today about four prostitutes who were brutally murdered in Atlantic City two weeks ago was this gem:

"What has emerged in the days since the bodies were discovered in a spongy strip of land between the Black Horse Pike and the Atlantic City Expressway is that each of the four women came to Atlantic City to escape something: abusive relationships, relatives who objected to their drug habits, or street life in other cities considered to be more dangerous."

I'm not even sure where to begin with this one folks. Top reporters must have spent hours and hours digging around following all sorts of leads to come up with that sentence! It manages to overstate the obvious while understating the depth of the human tragedy involved - all at once.

The piece goes on to tell us about the lives of each of the four women each one more tragic than the next. What kind of a world do we live in - where we can be expected to read about things like this over breakfast - pass the butter please - and then go on and have a normal day at the office?

We’ve Come A Long Way From Salem Baby

2006-10-30T12:00:00.000-05:00

I read today about a witch in Germany who was ordered to refund the money she was paid for casting a spell. In short the spell was supposed to get the client's boyfriend back and the spell failed to work! My first thought was to register my protest against the blatant commercialism this case represents. But after thinking about it for a while (OK in reality about a second) I'm wondering if this has not always been the case with witches. And by witches I mean of course bad witches. Good witches would definitely do it pro bono, wouldn't they? But then I'm thinking - well witches have to make a living too don't they? I mean how are they supposed to pay the bills if they're doing everything for free!?

And that's when the final question comes pops into my head: What kind of witch would pay bills or have the need to be involved with money matters in the first place? Well not the kind I'd go to if I wanted results that's for sure. So I say here's another example proving the old principle of caveat emptor - let the buyer beware.

And now to the matter of the wise court that tried this case. They said that the defendants claim that she did not guarantee results was irrelevant because "a love ritual is not suited to influencing a person from a distance". I don't even know where to begin with that one. Based on this genius logic perhaps we should outlaw 1-800-send-roses and the whole concept of postcards to loved ones and while we're at it let's just shut down Hallmark. Let's censor the mail why don't we and make sure that no love letters get through because they're just irrelevant clutter taking up time and money - resources that could be put to better use catching witches and putting them on trial for consumer fraud.

At The End Of The Parking Lot

2006-04-18T04:53:00.000-04:00

The hardest part about sitting in a car
and looking at life from a place so far away
is that I am constantly feeling
like everyone's deceiving me

Sometimes I wish I was a tree
so I could take my time
and get to really know and understand
my immediate surroundings
and spread my roots across the yard
lending definition to the boundaries of my world
and by the wind in my leaves
and by the strength in my trunk
pay tribute to the most high
without human complexity

but I'm not so I can't
and I won't pretend
to give in to the message sent
by those who should by right
have given me the light
have given me delight
and stopped the car
in a place
much closer
to life.

Busy as a "b"

2006-03-16T18:08:00.000-05:00

I'm playing a show in Manhattan on Thursday March 30th and while randomply typing an invite the following words came out - I'm not sure where the inspiration came from - maybe the pressures of trying to remember to send ou t the invites on time...?

In any case I decided to post it as a blog - so here it is:

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The Busy Show.

I'm busy. Busy busy busy. But not too busy to come out and play a show on a fine pre-spring Thursday night. Are you busy? The weird thing about busy is not so much the concept as the word itself. It looks weird. It's got a z sound with the z nowhere to be found. It's short and to the point but it doesn't really sound like a busy word if you know what I mean. It kind of sounds "easy". "Busy", "easy", they sound like similar words though they often do not go together. Even "relaxed" sounds more complicated than "busy". "Complicated" - now there's a word that deserves its meaning! It's got four seemingly unrelated syllables including a freebie (comp), what you do to an ice cream cone (lick), and two random names (Kate and Ted) thrown in for good measure. But the thing that makes it really complicated is the use of the hard "c"! We should totally do away with that don't you think?

Rav's Bio - translated into ebonics!

2005-12-25T14:02:00.000-05:00

`bout Rav Shmuel

Rav Shmuel is a rabbi who drinks gin n' juice n plays original composizzles on his guitar . Im a bad boy wit a lotta hos. He has a beard n sidelocks n he loves The Dead . Freak y'all, into the beat y'all. He does not see an inconsistency between these two identities. Nigga he thinks of Judaism n music as complementary n often mobbin' tools n methods fo` communicizzles (BL-to-tha-izzah blah blah) fo' real.

Rav, who has taught Jewish Philosophy n Talmud at various Universizzles has also toured tha country wit Gefiltizzles his first stateside band, gang bangin' sold-out doggy stylin' lots before n playa P-H-to-tha-izzish shows cuz this is how we do it. He does not play shot calla although he does makes tha odd Maimizzles joke fo' sho'. He thinks of himself as a Rizzock Star yaba daba dizzle.

Bizzy in Brooklyn, Rav spizzay seven years in Jerusizzles pimpin' by day n pimpin' in tha clubs at niznight before rhymin' back ta New York in 2001. Typ'n "Open Mike Night New York" into Google pointed Rav ta tha notorious Antihoot held in tha East Village's landmark venue The Sidewalk Cafe . Subscribe nigga, get yo issue.. He quickly became a hizouse favorite on a scene that has produced siznuch stars as Beck, Hamell On Trial and, most recently, The Moldy Peaches. Witin months he has moved up ta being a heezeelining weekend act . Bow wow wow yippee yo yipee yay.

Rav is currently putt'n tha finish'n touches on his fizzirst album . You'se a flea and I'm the big dogg. He sez you'll recognize his songs even though you don't kizzy them coz he's stolen ideas fizzle everyone. Even Jizzy Cage spittin' that real shit.

So wizzle we rapping `bout hizzle thugz is a thirty-sum-m sum-m Orthodox Hasidic rabbi wit six kids who is blingin' tha pants off of tha East Village's freshest scene , niggaz, better recognize!

to read this entire blog in ebonics click here: GIZOOGLE

Response to Letter from Santa

2005-12-11T04:14:00.000-05:00

And now from Noah ( http://www.myspace.com/noahtime ) comes the following response to Santa's letter!

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Dear Benjamin,

Thank you for forwarding me your correspondance with S. Claus. We here at the Meyerstein Consulting Firm would appreciate the opportunity to help you with your
Christmas present claim. We believe you have a valid case for challenging the Claus Corp.'s refusal to deliver gifts, and we would like to help you receive your due. While we can do nothing about your Jewish ethnic and religious heritage, there may be another
way to prove that you deserve Christmas gifts. Let us first gather a bit more information from you:

1. Have you ever wished anyone a Merry Christmas? If not, would you consider doing so for the purposes of this claim? An audio recording of said wish would be most helpful, should a court case ensue.

2. Have you ever lingered in front of a nativity scene, or perhaps thought Mary was pretty, or the baby Jesus was cute? The demonstration of kind feelings towards major Christian icons would be beneficial in convincing Mr. Claus and his representatives of your latent Christian tendencies.

3. Can you document, via audio- or videotape or eyewitness, a childhood instance of sitting upon a Santa Claus impersonator's lap, perhaps while visiting a gentile family? (Nota bene: Should the need for "hard ball" arise, we might argue that Mr. Claus' authorization of impersonators is misleading, dishonest, and un-Christian; by extension, his own actions are not without reproach, and therefore your birth status as a Jew is in fact a lesser "crime" than his own dishonesty. You, Benjamin, are in fact more worthy of Christmas gifts than Santa himself!)

4. How long have you lived in a predominantly Christian nation, state, and immediate community? By inavoidable cultural pressure to conform, you are in fact more Christian than myriad alleged Christians living in predominantly non-Christian lands.

5. Do you have Christian friends who would be willing to vouch for your virtuous lifestyle and philosophy, thus demonstrating that you are in fact living a good Christian life despite some superficial Semitic physical attributes and a meaningless cultural-religious label?

6. Lastly, can you prove that the gifts you requested are fundamentally Christian in nature? This fact would underscore the inherent Christianity of your person and help our case significantly. Your prompt response to this inquiry would expedite the handling of your claim and, with success, hasten the arrival of your deserved Christmas gifts. Thank you, Benjamin, for considering us here at Meyerstein Consultants. We would be honored to assist in your case.

Best wishes, and Merry Christmas.
Josephine Meyerstein.

Letter from Santa

2005-12-04T20:01:00.000-05:00

One of my friends on Myspace, Susie, wrote several letters from Santa that I think are great. At first I thought that Susie had gotten them from a website somewhere but it turns out that she wrote them herself. (Sorry for underestimating you Susie). Here I've reprinted (with permission) my favorite one.

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November 30, 2005

Dear Benjamin,

I received your letter regarding your request for Christmas gifts. Although I have made a list and checked it twice, I cannot find your name on the list anywhere. I was worried that I made a mistake and inadvertently forgot to add you or worse, deleted you. My staff crosschecked your name on our database and we realized (to our relief) that it was not an error on our part but on yours.

I am not sure if you are aware of this dear boy, but Santa doesn't deliver to Jewish kids. I am Kris Kringle from northern Europe, a Christian area. I deliver toys to girls and boys to celebrate the baby Jesus' birthday. Since your family doesn't celebrate this event, I am afraid I will not be able to fulfill your request. I am sorry for the inconvenience. I am sure you are a good boy but if I start accommodating Jewish toy requests the next thing you know I will have to start making deliveries all over the Middle East, India, and China. Please remember, I do not make the rules, I just obey them.

Perhaps you will recieve your toys for your bar-mitzva.

Please note that if your family ever decides to convert to Christianity I am more than happy to review another request. Until then, take care and thanks for contacting me.

Sincerely,
Santa Claus

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you can check out the original posts here: http://blog.myspace.com/maizensue

The Dead Kill Online Downloads

2005-11-30T18:07:00.000-05:00

The New York Times yesterday ran an article about the decision on the part of The Grateful Dead to force an onlive archive of its shows to remove them so that people will have to pay the band for downloading these shows. This is pretty much against the entire history of The Dead whose popularity can be attributed to the community that evolved partially as a result of the fact that they allowed and even encouraged people to tape and trade their shows for free. The excuse they offered is that the web is not about community building. Here's the quote from the band's spokesman Dennis McNally:

One-to-one community building, tape trading, is something we've always been about," Mr. McNally said. "The idea of a massive one-stop Web site that does not build community is not what we had in mind. Our conclusion has been that it doesn't represent Grateful Dead values."

Here's what I think they are missing. The definition of community is changing. Look at MySpace and tell me where that fits into the understanding of community that existed when The Dead started out 40 years ago. It doesn't. Yet, today, in 2005 it is in fact a growing community. These people are stuck back in the day when community meant actually knowing someone - or at least writing a snail mail letter to someone. (When was the last time YOU wrote an actual snailmail letter? I haven't in years!) Greatful Dead values? You gotta be kidding me - as if that were based on some sort of immutable Torah that G-d gave to Jerry on Mt. Shasta in '68... Ha!

So now there's this petition online where people are proclaiming that they will boycott all GD merch etc. unless thye decision is reversed. I signed. They insisted that I post a comment along with my signature which I did and then I found some other comments that people posted and decided to share some of my favorites with you. And here they are:

Suzanne Delaney of Flanders, NJ - please bring back the soundboards, my husband cant survive w/ out them

Ernie Jenkins of NYC - GD's Soul for Sale: $19.95 or best offer

Rob Miller of Candler, N.C. - That's it I quit,I am going to start listening to country music, at least I know all they care about is money.

Scott Nichols of Portsmouth, NH - I'm throwing your tea into the harbor starting now.

Frank of Florida - If you wrote some (good) new stuff, you wouldn't have to worry about squeezing the last nickel out of 30 year old concert recordings

Joe Weaver of Phila. PA - have you all been hangin' out with Metallica?

JERRY GARCIA of Heaven - What are you people doing to our legacy? WHY? I may have to come back and overturn this decision. Our poor fans.

Michael Hopping of Memphis, TN - Estimated Profit?

Derek Bryant of St. Louis, MO - What a bummer. You guys are really harshing my mellow.

rachael marinelli of Rochester, NY - what an UN-fun, UN-sexy time for you all!

James Dunleavy of Lawrence, KS - Don't you guys sell enough golf balls and frisbees?

Christopher Taylor of Vernon, CT - Have fun on your "ship of fools"!

Joshua B. Julian of Binghamton, NY - we would share with you.

Steve Hoffman of Pekin, IL - Did you get bought out by Sony?

Ken Cummings of Pittsburgh, PA - will they stop Dark Star Orchestra next??

James Nadeau of Brooklyn, NY - what's next? "The Dead, brought to you by Disney"

Steve Whiteduck of Maniwaki, Quebec, Canada - I've never been so embarassed to be a Deadhead

About that last one - I'm wondering about the other times he was embarassed to be a Deadhead. I know they weren't AS embarassing but still....

The article is here: http://www.nytimes.com/2005/11/30/arts/music/30dead.html?incamp=article_popular_3l

you can sign the petition here: www.petitiononline.com/gdm/petition.html

A Fascinating Snippet

2005-11-29T01:48:00.000-05:00

Something I heard earlier this evening as I sat in a bar in Alphabet City caught my ear. And I remember clearly that as I heard this snippet of conversation it occured to me that this would be a really good subject to write about here on my blog. And so I am. But, of course, now I can't for the life of me remember what it was about. Bah!

Conversation With Yoda

2005-08-28T22:56:00.000-04:00

One of my MySpace friends has a link to a site where you can have a conversation with Yoda. I only had a few minutes before leaving to visit a friend who is ill so I decided to see if Yoda had any good advice for me. I assumed that a conversation with Yoda would be difficult so I was determined to keep my questions straight and to the point. I didn’t think I would get as frustrated as I did… but see for yourself:

RS: How can I help my sick friend?

Y: Mmm. Friends you have there.

RS: How can I help?

Y: Pass on what you have learned.

RS: What if I haven’t learned anything?

Y: I am wondering, why are you here?

RS: What is the meaning of life?

Y: Remember your failure at the cave!

RS: How can I help my sick friend?

Y: Pass on what you have learned.

RS: Why did you change your answer?

Y: I am wondering, why are you here?

RS: Why do you repeat yourself?

Y: Luminous beings are we... not this crude matter.

RS: Now you're not making any sense.

Y: Mmm. Friends you have there.

RS: Are we going in circles?

Y: Luminous beings are we... not this crude matter.

RS: Do you have anything new to say?

Y: Decide you must how to serve them best. If you leave now, help them you could. But you would destroy all for which they have fought and suffered.

RS: Are you the wisest of the wise?

Y: Help you I can. Yes, mmmm.

RS: Any last words before I leave?

Y: That is the way of things...the way of the Force.

RS: Goodbye.

Y: That is why you fail.

RS: Huh?

Y: No more training do you require. Already know you that which you need.

RS: Got it. Bye.

Y: But beware of the dark side. Anger...fear...agression. The dark side of the Force are they. Easily they flow, quick to join you in a fight.

RS: Why do you wait to say things until I am about to leave?

Y: Then, only then, a Jedi will you be. And confront him you will.

RS: Now I feel like you're just giving me predetermined answers!

Y: Your weapons...you will not need them.

RS: You are not paying attention to a word I'm saying, are you?

Y: Oh, you will be. You will be.

RS: OK. I've had enough. This is ridiculous. I'm outta here!

Y: If you end your training now, if you choose the quick and easy path, as Vader did, you will become an agent of evil.

RS: So be it.

---------------

So that's it folks - I'm joining the forces of evil. I guess that's what happens when you try to talk philosophy with a ficticious pint sized green monster who talks in backwards nonsensical cliches. See for yourself right here. but don't say I didn't warn you!

Can Someone PLEASE Lend me $78,000.00?

2005-08-24T23:47:00.000-04:00

When we moved back from Israel to the USA four years ago we inherited a dining room table from our grandparents. It was really uncomfortable (notice how the word table is hidden right in that word as if 'uncomfortable' was invented to describe this situation!). So, in frustration at not being able to actually sit at this table we threw it out. Since then we have been eating at a plain folding table - the kind you can get in Costco only theirs is made out of plastic and doesn't cause your back to go out every time you try to move it an inch or two.

And now, finally, my long search is over. I have found the perfect table for my family but I need to borrow some money - so if you have an extra $78,000.00 lying around can you please get in touch with me ASAP!

This table is really worth the money as you can plainly see from the New York Times article about it included below. And please do not try to convince me that the cheap $12,000.00 imitation would be just as good. Because it wouldn't be.

------------------------------------------------------------------------
August 21, 2005
Pool Table

By PILAR VILADAS
One of the splashier debuts at this year's Milan furniture fair was that of the London company Established & Sons. Contrary to what its name implies, it is run by young upstarts who want to showcase the best of British design and manufacturing talent. The show stopper of its first collection was easily the Aqua table by Zaha Hadid, the architect famous for her dynamic, fluid forms and compositions. While Hadid is no stranger to furniture design -- her chandelier for the Italian firm Sawaya & Moroni was another of the fair's most-talked-about items -- she has outdone herself here. The polyurethane-resin table's arches and asymmetrical curves imply a liquid quality that is rendered even more vivid by its swimming-pool-blue silicone-gel top. ''It's like flying over water,'' Hadid says. And from a less metaphorical point of view, the table's structure allows the top to cantilever well out over the base, so people can sit at the corners without bumping their knees.

This limited-edition blend of poetry and practicality will set you back about $78,000, excluding taxes and shipping. But one of the more interesting aspects of Established & Sons is its insistence on making both couture and off-the-rack versions of its products. So, come next month, mere mortals will be able to buy an all-polyurethane table, minus the gel top, for about $12,000. Think of it as a building for your dining room.

We're in the Space Age now...

2005-08-09T23:52:00.000-04:00

OK here we go

Sometimes a close my hunting that and I think to list of this software is not understand in the

Not a bit staff but I think we need to clarify a number of things I wonder if this would work better if I spoke very very clearly it looks like it would.

I will try to write the law that dictating that’s

I am trying to use voice recognition software – I have not yet trained in this software the race word known known no No No No! I am trying to use a voice recognition software in that I have not yet trained to properly recognize my voice.

Because this software can’t recognize my voice yet it is making funny mistakes although of course when I describe that it is making mistakes suddenly it doesn’t make any mistakes of all. There! You see what I mean? At the problem: for power is now though they we going in,, the on how how high No let’s get the straight this is kind of ridiculous isn’t it’s it’s it to only good is this is frustrating that that that

They think my billing No!

I think mind Bill of the No!

I think my golden No this solution when

I think my goal of the No!

Mine Dylan No!

[OK – I’m inserting here by hand that for the record what I was trying to say there was that my dog could probably take dictation better than this software, and I don’t even have a dog!]

Helped No helped just helped just help with held in the de with All to only get will mind done Old gonna

The end.) That Medium (I hope this gets better)…

Tatoo Fruit

2005-07-19T13:08:00.000-04:00

There's an article in the New York Times today by Julia Moskin entitled Tatooed Fruit Is On Way.

I'm thinking that the word Tatoo shouldn't be applied to fruit. It is a word that, at least in my mind, carries quite a heavy connotation: indelibly marked for life. And while for me it is not an art form I would personally engage in I can still respect that it is (sometimes) a beautiful art form. But fruit is being marked for marketing purposes not art. What are they trying to tell us? Is the increase in tatoos in the last 10 years an evil attempt by the US government to monitor us? Does each tatoo come with an invisible bar code so that people can be tracked? I think the conspiracy theorists should look into this at once!

Sprung?

2005-05-10T18:58:00.000-04:00

It's amazing! No matter what vowel(s) you put between the consonants spr and ng the resulting word has a very strong connotation of dramatic action.

Try these: Sproing. Spring. Sprang. Spraing. Sproung. Spryng. Spreeng. Spreing. Sprying. Sproong... Say them out loud. Let them roll off your tongue. See how they sound? Action!

You can even add an ing to any of the above and it still works.

And then there's spreng. Hmmmm.... Not as good but could still work for animals - as in "Yesterday my dog Simbad was exhausted from all his sprenging at the beach."

When Your Switch Is Not The Only Switch

2005-05-10T00:33:00.000-04:00

When your switch is not
The only switch in town
You need to keep an eye on it
Though in the dark it's hard
To know exactly where it's gone.
I speak metaphorically of course
It has not left my office.
When the people who designed my floor
Decided where to place
Override controls
On light conditions in my office.
They chose a place
Too far away
For me to see.
Neither I nor any other future occupant
Was to be trusted apparently.
Placed beside the entrance lobby door
For all to try
And I am never sure
When the lights go on
And off in my office
Who the person switching
My switch on or off is.

The News

2005-05-08T17:52:00.000-04:00

Why are people so obsessed with the news? And how do we choose the particular news we become obsessed with? Is it based on our dreams and aspirations? On our worst dreams and nightmares? On our sense of relief that it's not happening to me?

The other day my friend Janice wanted to know what planet I was on when I thought that her reference to Runaway Bride had something to do with the movie.

"Are you living in a deep dark hole somewhere - completely out of touch with the rest of us"? She wanted to know.

"Yes! I am" I replied. "I'm an orthodox hassidic Rabbi remember"?

She laughed.

And then I remembered that I HAD heard this Runaway Bride mentioned in the news when her groom announced he forgave her completely.

So now I'm thinking that maybe my dark hole isn't dark or deep enough.